There’s something growing inside of me this week.
I’m not sure what it is, but I feel, simultaneously, a great sense of urgency and a kind of peace. It’s unusual, to say the least. I’m, at once, hyperaware and calm, anxious and at ease. In limbo.
Still, though, I feel as though I’m standing on a precipice. There’s no retreat – one path forward, but I don’t yet have the ability (or maybe the will) to take the first step.
Growth is a funny thing. We don’t often recognize it until it has passed. Until we’re forced to gaze back on our lives and see our trajectory – a relief map of our existence to this point. Maybe that’s what this is. Maybe I’m fully experiencing this growth as it occurs.
Now, more than ever, I feel that I have some semblance of control over the trajectory of my life. Not complete. Just some ability to steer myself, ever so slightly.
My days have passed in somewhat of a pleasant haze…
